The days are flying by in a blur. Every now and again, I surface and take time to breath and reflect. I’m still sober and still so very very proud. I’ve been out to dinner with friends, been to a rugby match and enjoyed every minute sober – mainly because the relief of climbing into bed with clean teeth and that nugget of knowledge that there’ll be no hangover tomorrow is priceless.
Every so often though, I have to revisit the start of this blog. Just to remind myself of the utter panic that I felt after my last binge. I am definitely finding the little booze devil is leaving me alone but I can’t forget and I absolutely mustn’t waver from this new path.
Love to everyone seeking this path, it really is worth it.
I have been sober for 75 days. I have never been so proud of myself! Admittedly, I have avoided a couple of potentially difficult situations such as after work drinks but that’s what I’ve got to do at the moment.
I am very aware that I have had a total shift in my perception of drinking. I am finding that when a moment of stress arises, I’m no longer immediately thinking of drinking. Instead, I deal with things and realise later that I didn’t think about a drink. Pretty darn cool.
Queen’s birthday weekend will present a difficulty as I’ve friends coming down to my town and they are organising a big booze up. But I’ve managed this situation before and I have absolutely no intention of drinking again. I’m enjoying being sober too much.
Today one of my students gave a speech about how she escaped her abusive alcoholic mother. She was proud and determined as she spoke. She does not want to be pitied, she simply wants to tell her story. She kept referring to her mother clutching her ‘poison’ and how this demon took her mother away and left someone who just wanted to die. Her words brought back the memory of feeling the iron fingers of alcohol clutching around my freedom.
I have cried so much today. I have cried for my courageous and inspirational student, for her poor mother who is still battling with her terrible disease and has lost her children, and with utter total gratefulness for being sober.
Thank you sober community, everyday is precious and I will never forget to be grateful.